How to Make Time For What You Really Want

Everyday life in the contemporary world is usually full of too much of the unimportant stuff and not enough of what really matters.  There is so much information, too many options to contemplate, too many ways to communicate to people, too many social obligations, and not enough time for any of it.  So how do you navigate this mess and find time for what you really want?

The first most important thing is to look inside yourself and work out what you really want.  How do you really want to spend your time?  If you weren’t constrained by work, family, social obligations, etc then what would you do with yourself?  What would you really like to do?  For some people the answer comes easily.  Some people are so used to ignoring their wishes that they need to dig deep for a while to come up with the real answer.  My answer is usually to spend more time working on my artwork.  It’s a quick answer, one that usually pops out of my mouth even before the question has been completely asked.  But being lucky enough to know what you want is only the first step.

The next step is to really look at the rest of your life and assess how important the other things really are.  Really look at them.  Seriously.  If you were to put these activities in a ranking order what would be essential for your soul to thrive?  What is something you enjoy but could stop doing for a while and still be happy?  What are the things you do out of obligation but don’t really want to do that much?

In my life the most important differentiation has been between the things I want deeply from the bottom of my soul and the things I merely enjoy and am good at.  Being a creative person, I’m lucky enough to enjoy and be good at lots of things.  However, that doesn’t necessarily mean I should be doing them.

My husband was the one who really helped me understand this.  He said “if you really want to do your artwork then you can do it. You just need to do that and stop doing most other things.”  So I did.

From then on I started setting rules for myself for how I was going to spend my time.  No more experiemental cooking, only the most minimal gardening, fewer cycling rides in the countryside, no more making my own clothes.  Artwork first, then cleaning.  And only TV in the evenings if I was specifically spending time with my husband.  And you know what happened?  I started to make artwork.  Lots, lots more than I had been making.

You know that feeling when you are finally doing what you want to be doing?  The deep, sweet relief of connecting with who you really are?  The unbelievable calm?  I still feel this almost every time I walk into my studio.  When you find that feeling you know it’s what you are really meant to be doing.  And the more you do it, the more it expands.

Of course there are lots of outside factors that make this process more challenging.  Having children or caring for other family members is high on the list.  Every time I’ve had another child I’ve had to get more and more serious about my prioritisation.  (I have four young children now so this is a major part of my life!)  The best answer I’ve found for that is time blocking.  Block out time that is going to be for you and stick to it like it’s a doctor’s appointment.  After all, you wouldn’t miss an appointment like that would you?  Make yourself that important because you are.  DON’T drop it for other things.  You need this time!

After I had my second child, my husband would give me two hours of childcare on Sundays.  We had no space in our 500 square foot house in the UK for me to make artwork, so I asked a friend if I could borrow her art studio for that two hour window on Sunday every week.  She worked a non-art job on Sundays, so it was no big deal.  I rented a shelf in her studio to keep my things and gradually began completing sculptures and exhibiting them again.

That was possible because I bothered to organise the childcare and the space.  Once I had put in all that commitment I really felt like a fool if I didn’t go.  If you put effort into making that space for yourself you will naturally be more committed.  So DO it!  Make that commitment and tell other people to help hold yourself accountable.

We all have a deep calling and desire to do something more meaningful.  Once you know what that thing is, all you have to do is be brave enough to make the move.  The logistics are easier to work out than you think.