Happy Halloween! I hope you’re enjoying the pumpkin carving-spooky-costume-warm-apple-cider-cute-kids-going-bonkers-for-candy madness. This is one of my favorite times of year, it really is, but like all holidays it comes with it own challenges. I’m already starting to feel it.
The problem with the holidays is managing the big, messy, gorgeous, overwhelming excitement of loved ones and the limited time to get everything done. Even thinking about it brings up a deep, tired sigh inside me but I’m determined to crack it. There is a way of circumventing this problem, I’m sure of it. I really think it’s comes down to two things – approaching it with clear intention and the magic of saying “no.”
Clarifying your intention is deciding what you want from the holiday season. Do you want peace? Tranquility? The warmth of family and best friends? What do you NOT want? Hectic running around? Too many activities? Stress? Yeah, me too.
It’s useful to try to sum it up in a sentence. For instance “I want to feel peaceful as I enjoy the excitement and warmth of my family and friends” or “I want a calm, comfortable holiday season.” If you have a partner, discuss it with them and try to come up with a shared intention. This will make a BIG difference!
Once you have your intention set, then it’s time to develop a strategy to support it. If you want less stress, then you need to plan to cut out activities and protect free time like it’s your most important treasure on earth. Remember, the best parts of your life blossom when you slow down. You need free time for that to happen. By this I mean true free time with nothing planned at all. (To me that’s like the holy grail!) It’s worth fighting for.
So, what do you enjoy most? Definitely keep those activities! (Personally I love doing holiday crafts with my kids) What do you enjoy least? Reduce your involvement in those! (For me it’s going to lots of Christmas events and spending too much time on Christmas cards) Find ways to reduce the activities you don’t want, and cut them out completely if you can. Life is too short to keep doing them.
Once you have your strategy, it’s time to gear yourself up to saying NO to the things you don’t want. This can be tricky when you are dealing with other people’s expectations, etc. Remember, when you say NO to them you’re saying YES to yourself. You are saying YES to the things you really believe in. You are saying YES to free time which allows your life to thrive. You can say “no” politely and lovingly. Simply explain that it’s super important to you to avoid being overstretched and you just can’t do it this time.
There is true magic in saying “no”. Within it lies beautiful, breathtaking individual freedom. Not only are you saying YES to yourself and everything you want, you also give other people permission to say “no” too. It’s very inspiring to watch someone utilize their personal power.
Remember what you are saying YES to. That holy grail of tranquility, peace, and loving relationships (or whatever your holiday dream may be) is in there, buried under all that hectic mess. This is the year to throw out everything else so you can let the beauty in your life grow and be truly thankful. That, after all, is the point of the holidays in the first place.
Activities to Help Support Your Intention
“Intention Jar”
Once you’ve set your intention, get a glass jar and name it to match your intention. For instance it could be a “Kindness Jar” or a “Tranquility Jar” or a “Self Care Jar”. Once you’ve named it, cut out a stack of little pieces of paper and have a pen handy. Then, every time you do something that supports your intention, write it down and put it in the jar. As you see the jar fill up, you will feel pride in your efforts grow. Try to do something you can add to your jar every day. Celebrate every time you have said “no” and every intentional “yes” to what you really want. You can do this!
“Intention Wall” – Great for Children!
Instead of putting little notes in a jar, you can write them on paper hearts and put them on the wall. My family is currently doing this with acts of kindness. Every time the chidren do an act of kindness, we put it up on the wall so they can easily see how much they have achieved. This activity has had a magical effect on my family. Suddenly my children are LOOKING for ways to be kind. It has made our family discussions so positive and gives the grown ups lots of chances to praise the them for their good deeds (THANK GOODNESS – I was so sick of doing the opposite!!)
We got this idea from a book called “Kindness is Cooler, Mrs. Ruler” by Margery Cuyler. It really is fabulous. Like the kids in the book, our kids are going to get to have a party when they get to 100 acts of kindness. I can’t wait!
