I really try to be brave in my choices so that I truly live in the fullest way I can. But sometimes I wonder how do you go about that bravery? How do you sustain it? How can you keep making the choice that scares you but brings you closer to who you really are?
We all have things that we want to do but are frightened to try. Maybe you want to lose weight, be more daring in your career, or take a risk in a relationship. It is common to wish you lived and functioned at a higher level. But how do you actually go about doing it? How do you take that step?
One way is getting so fed up with your current situation that you say “Oh, to h**l with it, I have to make a move! It’s now or never!” This is a good motivator and certainly the reason I’ve (finally) taken many risks! But really that only works for the first couple of steps in a new venture. How do you keep going when your confidence fails you? This is what I’ve been dealing with lately.
I was chopping vegetables when it occurred to me that I can feel this in my body. I can feel that tension, tight and stretching right between my shoulder blades. Where is it coming from? Is there some unreasonable expectation I have of myself that is causing me stress? Why is the thing I want to do pushing my buttons in this way? What about this particular task that frightens me? Then it occurred to me that this is a point where it would be easy to get so wound up that you could abandon the task all together. It would be easy to give it up and run away.
But obviously THAT won’t work!
The next thing that occurred to me is maybe the tension is the key. If I relax and just listen it, maybe my body is trying to tell me something. Underneath it all there is probably a relatively simple reason why I feel this way. If I can focus on that part of my body and listen to it then maybe my muscles will relax and the reason will reveal itself.
I fell asleep concentrating on that tension last night. When I woke up this morning I was completely sure of this: bravery needs to be taken with a healthy dose of self kindness to help you let go of the fear. It’s similar to how the body absorbs iron – it needs plenty of Vitamin C to do it. I think bravery is the same way. To sustain it, you need to be gentle and understanding with yourself. It’s supposed to be frightening, or else you wouldn’t need to be brave.
The other thing I know is this – hidden inside that tension is the next big revelation of your life. The real challenge is to welcome it with open arms, opening your heart to your fears with bravery and faith.
I’ll let you know how that goes.
